She’s… pretty cute, actually. The hair’s perfect Tennant, the trenchcoat is good, sonic screwdriver, glasses… You could even imagine him…
I think I need a little bit of a lie-down, I’m feeling all funny and confused inside.
The Doctor Ditches the TARDIS to Work the Pole [Topless Robot]
Truly an idea whose time has come. When the zombie apocalypse comes, when your back is to the wall and you have only seconds to clear a path through a horde of slavering undead ghouls, only a rocket-propelled chainsaw is gonna get your ass out of that fire. Just think about it; hot grinding death coming out of a tube at hundreds of miles an hour, ripping through necrotized flesh and bone as if the horde was a cloud of rotting cotton candy. From certain doom to sweet sweet freedom… at least until the next time you fuck up. Seriously, you let them corner you? Bah.
Die, Zombies!: A Rocket-Propelled Chainsaw [Geekologie, via unrealitymag]
This commercial for a brand of peanut butter I only half-remember from my childhood is a freakish snapshot of how things were, or at least how things were supposed to be. Witness the perplexed look on the mother’s face, her buck teeth jutting out of her pouty mouth like a cartoonish beaver. She nods, smiles slightly because that’s what you’re supposed to do when a man tells you what to do, even if that man is a stranger with unkept hair, dressed like a pedophiliac Robin Hood. The children too, behave properly, tearing into the sandwich with approving gusto, exaggerated nods of approval as he knocks over pots and pans on the counter to make his escape. This was the 70s, my friends; let us remember, so it never happens again.
The 1970s Were Strange [The Stranger, via WOW Report]
A wonderfully clever mash-up of the H2G2 and Doctor Who. Don’t Panic, you say? Fuck that, I’m gonna do my best Looney Tunes imitation and run through a damn wall if I see a freakin’ Dalek.
Though, it you throw your towel over their eyestalk, you will have a significantly better chance of surviving. Just a little hint there for ya.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide Reminds You Not to Panic if You Meet a Dalek [Topless Robot]
Man, Venezualan prank TV is hard core! This actress apparently has a very deep-seated belief in ghosts, so prank show ¡Qué Locura! (What Madness!) decided to try to give her a nervous breakdown. I love it!
اقوى كاميرا خفية بالعالم روعه [YouTube]
this is chelsea, i’m in yer wordpress, fuckin’ up yer wordpress
Yub nub, eee chop yub nub
Toe meet toe pee chee keene
G’noop dock fling oh ah
Great. That’s going to be going thorugh my head alllll day. Fucking Ewoks.
Ruining Your Afternoon [The Stranger]
Do you like Miles Fisher? His newest EP marks a new peak of professionalism. This is his take on David Byrne’s “This Must Be The Place”. A great, great song, and a personal favourite.
I have watched this video every single day since I found it. It’s a perfect, perfect rendering of music to motion, a consummate point of music video mastery. It’s pure glory. I cannot say enough good things about it.
Of course, it’s about a serial killer. I have my weaknesses.
Miles Fisher – This Must Be The Place [YouTube]
Oh god, they’ve finally managed to combine bacon and Star Wars. Look how huge that thing is! It contains over forty pounds of bacon! The singularity is nigh! Everybody panic!
Mmmm… baaaaaacon.
The Bacon AT-AT: ‘Star Wars’ And Pork, Together At Last [Huffington Post]
Ever wondered what it’d be like to drive a real car like you were playing Grand Theft Auto? No, I don’t mean willfully mowing down pedestrians, I mean from a third-person perspective… while willfully mowing down pedestrians. No? Well, some guy at Rooster Teeth games sure did, and he made this video. It is both scientifically fascinating, and hilarious. What more can you demand?
Oh, piss off, Mr. Demandy-mandy-man.
Apparently driving a car from a third person perspective is much harder in real life [I <3 Chaos, via Joystiq]
Little know fact: This is one of my favourite songs in the world. Now I will never be able to listen to it without thinking of Miss Piggy gyrating on Rolf’s piano. Fuck.
Miss Piggy Sings “Fuck The Pain Away” by Peaches [YouTube]
Well, apparently those 80s cyberpunk films were correct; in the future, abstract tribal facepaint will totally be in. A student at the Interactive Telecommunications Program of New York University, Adam Harvey, has been experimenting with methods of fooling facial detection software. He’s found that abstract, asymmetrical designs work best; he then posits that, as privacy concerns increase, people will then start adapting such patterns into their personal style as a matter of habit. I like where this is going, personally.
That facial tribal tattoo still makes you look like a fucking idiot though. Seriously, what were you thinking?
Abstract, Cyber Warrior Makeup May Hide Your Face From Surveillance [Switched.Com]
Man, I know I say it a lot, but I just fucking love the Japanese. Especially back in the day when they didn’t give a flying fuck about American copyright. Ghetto Vader control panel, the bowing before the (interrupted) light saber battle, great jumpin’ wookiees? They’re a special people man. Damn special.
Star Wars + ’70s Japan + Sea Chicken – All Semblance of Sanity = This [Topless Robot via CNNgo]
For Taiwanese audiences through the usage of cheap CGI and copyright-infringing superhero metaphors.
Man, I love reality. I mean, seriously we are like gods. Gods who are easily entertained.
The Late Night Wars Explained for You [Slog]
Oh, hells bells, this is pretty damn awesome. Christopher Lee, the second-best Dracula of all time, is making a metal album, a tribute to Charlemagne. No, seriously, check this out
Christopher Lee, famed star of Hammer horror movies, Lord Of The Rings, and much, much more will be coming soon to some earphones near you. Videogum and The Guardian have the news that the 87-year-old actor plans to release a “symphonic metal” album about the life and career of Charlemagne, the first Holy Roman Emperor and a direct ancestor of Lee himself. “To my surprise and indeed great pleasure, I have suddenly found that there is another string to my bow,” Lee announced.
This is, quite simply, one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever heard, purely on concept. If it’s half as face-meltingly awesome as it should be, we’re all going to be in for a good time.
Christopher Lee Will Rock Your Face Off [Topless Robot, via Onion AV Club]
Yeah, I’m two days ahead of myself, but I suspect I’ll be busy, so I’m sharing now. I hope everyone makes it into 2010 relatively safely!
Allow the lovely ladies of the LA Derby Dolls to explain basic principles of electricity to you, accompanied by a catchy little tune. Mmmm, I love science.
The Electrical Derby [io9.com]
For years, it has been thought that Man alone (and okay, maybe a few birds/simians/mammals) used tools. Essentially though, creatures with spines. Alas, tentacled doom has revealed itself anew with the news that a certain species of octopus has been found to carry around halved coconut shells which it then uses as body armour when it feels threatened. From New Scientist:
When the octopuses come across these on the seabed, they drape their bodies over and around the shells, hollow-side up, leaving their eight arms dangling over the edges.
The octopuses then lift the shells by making their arms rigid, before tiptoeing away in a manoeuvre Finn calls stilt-walking.
When the octopuses feel threatened, they flip the half shells over themselves and hide. Some even use two shells to create a more spacious shelter with an opening through which they can keep a lookout.
Well, you know what this means. First, they build protection, then the weapons. Next thing you know, Ol’ Uncle Cthulhu has an army where every soldier has us at a two-to-one limb disadvantage. I dunno about you, but I’m going to go source some octopus-spray…
Octopus Uses Coconut Shells as Portable Armor [io9.com, via New Scientist]