Archive for June, 2009

The Vulcan, The Butcher, and The Chop

June 24th, 2009 by frankie23

Here, here is true WTFery as only the intertubes can provide. Zachary Quinto, the fellow who plays everyone newest favourite Vulcan, is walking his dog in the company of a giant piece of meat and a blood soaked butcher.

If you need more description than that to watch this, I really have to question why you’re on the web at all.

There’s Really No Explanation For This [dlisted]

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Donny And Marie Vs. Darth Vader’s Raiders

June 23rd, 2009 by frankie23

I don’t know if this is the best thing I’ve seen all month, or the absolute worst. In the holiday season fo 1977, Donny & Marie Osborne, the shameless brother and sister act, decided to do a skit where they played Luke and Leia (did they know something we didn’t?) for a musical medly playing off of a then-hit film you may have heard of, Star Wars. so they gathered memebers of the real cast, specifically Anthony Daniels as C3-P0, and Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca, got themselves a remote controlled R2-D2, and proceeded to leave behind a legacy of pain and suffering.

Okay, I may exaggerate slightly, but still, this shit be whack. We’ve got notorious fag icon Paul Lynde playing Moff Tarkin to the upper limits of camp, we have the voice of TONY THE FUCKING TIGER dubbing Darth for us, and we have, and admittedly I love this bit, sexy stormtroopettes. I only use that phrasing because of the high-kicking legs. Yeah.

Oh, did I forget to mention Kris Kristofferson plays Han solo, and Redd Fucking Foxx plays Obi-Wan (while plugging his then-current show)? Oh, fuck yeah. I can’t make this stuff up. They had some goooood drugs back then…

It’s Like Awesome and Awful Had a Baby [Topless Robot, via YouTube]

Seeing Stars: Tattoo Trauma, Or Inky Regret?

June 17th, 2009 by frankie23

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Lovely picture, isn’t it? I think it looks nice, personally, but the young lady pictured seems to disagree. Kimberley Vlaeminck, an 18 year old Belgian girl, went into the Tattoo Box studio in Kortrijk to get a tattoo done. Her story is:

“I wanted him to tattoo on just three little points but he suggested three stars, saying it would look prettier.

“When he started the tattooing I didn’t want to feel the pain and so I went to sleep. I had got up at five in the morning.”

“I woke up when he was starting to tattoo my nose and I saw what he had already done. I counted 56 stars, it’s frightening.”

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever had a tattoo done, but let me tell you, those thing sting like a son-of-a-bitch. The closer you are to the bone, the more it hurts too; it’s easier to get a tattoo on your ass than on your sternum, for example. The mere thought that this young lady could pass out cold while getting facial tattoos is so absurd as to be laughable. The artist in question offers a much more reasonable assertion:

“She was awake and looked in the mirror several times as the procedure was being done… She agreed, but when her father saw it, the trouble started…”

I’ve no doubt that daddy freaked when he saw his little angel all marked up like a sparkle-princess street hood, so she made up this bullshit story. The lack of personal accountability in modern day society is truly sickening; the worst part is, the artist is going to find up paying stupid amounts of money to lawyers to defend himself from her claims. Tres lame.

Belgian girl’s tattoo ‘nightmare’ [BBC News]

Kari Farrell, The Hipster Grifter

June 16th, 2009 by frankie23

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Geez, I’ve been neglecting my pretty little blog, haven’t I? Ah well, I’ve got some gems stored up for y’all, and we’re going to start with this amusing little tale.

Back in March, this cute little Korean girl walked into Vice Magazine, all tattoos and smiles, to interview for a job. She said she used to work for a ticket company, was big into music and the scene, and charmed the pants off of her interviewer. They hired her on the spot. A few days later, one of her co-workers decided to Google her, and suddenly the new hire was revealed as a serial scammer of amusingly grand proportions

Wanted in Utah for floating bad cheques, Kari moved to NYC, great state of opportunity, to continue her grifting ways. Her marks were stupid boys who reacted positively towards her aggressive sexual advances; she’d control them with sob stories of cancer and pregnancy scares, bilk them for a few grand and then vamoose when they either got wise or fed up. Here’s a typical quote:

Bobby told some friends of his the whole story and they seemed incredulous, so he Googled her and found the wanted poster. “After I realized the whole thing was bullshit, she continued to send me texts,” he said “She texted me on Christmas to tell me that she loved me. As soon as I realized who she really was, I stopped contacting her.”

Okay, so, you figured out that she was a wanted criminal, and just started to ignore her? Dude, two words: Reward Money. I’m sure someone down in Utah would’ve been happy to offer a little cash bonus for bringing in one of their most wanted. But no, Robert decided to just shun Kari, letting her continue on her string of scams and skips. The article mentions several people doing this, and I’m just appalled. Where’s the social responsibility? Heck, where’s the urge to profit? Kids these days have no business sense. Anyhow, as I’m reading, one thing sticks out to me. While I admire Miss Farrell’s anti-social tendencies, she keeps on making on giant fucking mistake. Can you guess what it is? Bobby finally wised up…

“What I find so strange is that she uses her real name,” Bobby, the 23-year-old Rutgers student, said. “I was thinking she’s just a really good liar. She goes after people who are very trusting, and exploits that. She really had me going—my first instinct is not to Google someone when I meet them.”

For some god-forsaken reason, Kari keeps using her real name! For such a smart, charismatic young lady, a mistake of this magnitude is rather shocking. I can only presume that her repeated string of successes has made her cocky, but it won’t last forever. Considering she got busted a month ago in Philadelphia, it may already be over for her. Kari, if you ever read this, please, start using some aliases; you’re far too easy to find on Google as it stands.

Oh, and Bobby? Maybe you should make it your first priority to Google people you meet. It’ll be a lot safer in the future for you, I’m sure.

The Hipster Grifter [The Observer]