Why don’t we get after-Hallowe’en statistics like this in Vancouver? I’m very curious as to how many crimes were committed by popular fictional characters. I’m pretty sure Boba Fett tried to roofie a friend of mine. Or was that me?

Later Batman Stated He Was “Sorry About The Window.” [Probably Bad News]

Sometimes in your life, you sit back and look at what you have wrought, and you feel good inside. I can only imagine how fucking awesome the person who made this felt afterwards. So pretty you’d almost want to not eat it.

Almost. I mean, c’mon, it’s bacon.

Holy Grail? You Decide: A Bacon Chalice [Geekologie, via thisisfreakingridiculous]

Okay, so I know I’m a few weeks (okay months) behind on this one, but I can’t just let it pass me by. In China, land of the really freaking bizarre, some old lady found this mutant snake that was sporting a full on leg. Crawling up her wall. So she killed it. From the article:

“I woke up and heard a strange scratching sound. I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw.”

She then proceeded to beat the thing to death with her shoe, and popped it into a jar of alcohol. You know, I know science would probably have loved to check this thing out, but frankly, I can’t blame the lady. If I woke up to see that freak of nature slowly creeping up my wall, I’d kill it faster than you can say “horrible snakey death”. Because I’d assume it was gunning for me. Of course.

Snake With Foot Found, Killed In China [Geekologie, via The Telegraph]

I want to be this guy when I grow up.

Crazy Bruce of Crazy Bruce’s Liquor perhaps has been hittin’ the hooch [I Heart Chaos, via YBNBY]

I’m drunk, and far too amused with myself to post a proper update, so enjoy this article from Modern Drunkard magazine which reinforces my lifestyle choices. Awesome.

10 Best Things About Booze [Modern Drunkard]

This is both sad and hilarious. An anonyblog for female bad sex survivors, I bang the worst dudes is made of of censor-barred images and brief anecdotes of poor sexual performance by males. The funny comes from the fact that a lot of these tales are dreadfullly droll, and you’re realy sorry that anyone had to go through that. The sad is closely related; it’s absolutely horrible that some of these girls got into the situations described. Take this highlight for example:

This guy would demand oral sex repeatedly and when I finally relented he tried to face-humped me like a rabbit.

Why would you finally give in? Why would you even keep hanging out with the guy? Tolerating his presence indicates to him that his behaviour is acceptable; giving in rewards his for his bothersome persistence. The fact that none of them accept any blame for the badness brings it a bit into the male-bashing perspective, but a bit of misandry is good for the soul, they tell me. Interesting, Firefox recognizes “misogyny”, but not “misandry”. Heh. Funny that.

Anyhow, it’s certainly worth taking your time to scroll through; there’s only eleven pages or so at this point, though I’m sure that’ll grow. I must say I question how many of the photos are genuine, and how many are just some random guy blacked out to the point of being unrecognizable, but they do add a certain pleasing visual style to the whole thing. Just don’t be surprised if some of the stories read more bitter than clever.

I bang the worst dudes (sorry mom) [via the blazing shark]

Oh noes, it’s back! There’s been a second sighting of the South American stalking shorty! Okay, this video is even harder to make out than the previous one, but… geez, that walk. It’s just so wrong. Sends shivers down my spine just watching the damn thing stroll across the street. Well, stroll may not be the right word. More like skitter. Ugh.

For those who don’t remember, here’s the first sighting.

NEW creepy gnome sighting [YouTube]

Goddamn do I love neon. Click on the image for a full-size, desktop-ready version.

This is awesome. Joss Whedon’s brother Jed, and his female companion Maurissa Tancharoen, co-writers of the wonderful Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, apparently write songs in the car on the way to get food, about the food they’re getting. Then, on Labour Day weekend, they got drunk, sat in front of a webcam, and sang them to us. Revel. I said revel!

The Dr Horrible Follow-Up You Never Expected [io9.com]

I want to hate this song, but I can’t. It’s just so fun! And I must say, Miss Katy Perry is a very lovely woman. I hope she manages to be more than a one-hit wonder, but if not, at least we’ll all have this song to remind us when drunken bi-curiosity became mainstream.

Katy Perry – I Kissed A Girl (And I Liked It) [GoogleVideo]