When your sex-ed teacher is named Ms. Lovecraft, you know yr in for some strange shit. Tentacle sex and mother-of-pearl streams, you know? An official selection at Sundance 2005, this short film by Craig MacNeill and Clay McLeod Chapman is the very sum of every pubescent child’s most antediluvian fears.

Sex Ed with H.P. Lovecraft [Topless Robot]

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Is life getting you down? Do you need a new way of seeing the world? Hey, why not try the Necronomicon? New, horrible vistas of reality will upon unto your eyes, driving you either insane, or causing you to fall on your kneews in anticipation of the dark times. It’ll be great!

Hey, why not try the Necronomicon? [io9]

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For years, it has been thought that Man alone (and okay, maybe a few birds/simians/mammals) used tools. Essentially though, creatures with spines. Alas, tentacled doom has revealed itself anew with the news that a certain species of octopus has been found to carry around halved coconut shells which it then uses as body armour when it feels threatened. From New Scientist:

When the octopuses come across these on the seabed, they drape their bodies over and around the shells, hollow-side up, leaving their eight arms dangling over the edges.

The octopuses then lift the shells by making their arms rigid, before tiptoeing away in a manoeuvre Finn calls stilt-walking.

When the octopuses feel threatened, they flip the half shells over themselves and hide. Some even use two shells to create a more spacious shelter with an opening through which they can keep a lookout.

Well, you know what this means. First, they build protection, then the weapons. Next thing you know, Ol’ Uncle Cthulhu has an army where every soldier has us at a two-to-one limb disadvantage. I dunno about you, but I’m going to go source some octopus-spray…

Octopus Uses Coconut Shells as Portable Armor [io9.com, via New Scientist]

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Someone made a Li’l Cthulhu cartoon. I don’t know if this is a legitimate project or not, but it’s freakin’ awesome. I’d watch this so hard, it’s not even funny.

The Amazing Adventures of Lil’ Cthulhu [Topless Robot]

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I hate it when people say they don’t like musicals. Mostly because, especially amongst those I hang out with, they immediately confess to loving The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Of course they do, who doesn’t? Eventually you can then pry out of them that they do in fact like other musicals, such as Little Shop Of Horrors, that one episode of Buffy, and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. So, in the spirit of singing something instead of just saying it, I present to you Fishmen, a musical version of the H.P. Lovecraft classic, The Shadow Over Innsmouth, produced by the always amazing H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society. Honestly, I was a little doubtful that they could cram the entirety of the story into one minute and thirty-eight seconds, but by Jove they did, and it’s pretty damn slick. There’s some fine effects work, some disgusting Deep Ones, and a jaunty tune to take you along one man’s voyage of sickening self-discovery. Please, enjoy, and remember, you never quite know where you came from, until you go look!

Why Didn’t Gershwin Do This? [kali921, via warren_ellis]

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In this dark time, when cats walk the internet speaking like Ritalin-deprived twelve year-olds, the madness of LolSpeak cannot be avoided. It infests our cupboards, our cup-o-noodles, even our cupolas. Now, it has even infiltrated dread R’lyeh. And it’s hilarious.

My Reagent, Let Me Show You It [LOLTHULHU, via Qelqoth]

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