Truly an idea whose time has come. When the zombie apocalypse comes, when your back is to the wall and you have only seconds to clear a path through a horde of slavering undead ghouls, only a rocket-propelled chainsaw is gonna get your ass out of that fire. Just think about it; hot grinding death coming out of a tube at hundreds of miles an hour, ripping through necrotized flesh and bone as if the horde was a cloud of rotting cotton candy. From certain doom to sweet sweet freedom… at least until the next time you fuck up. Seriously, you let them corner you? Bah.

Die, Zombies!: A Rocket-Propelled Chainsaw [Geekologie, via unrealitymag]

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For Taiwanese audiences through the usage of cheap CGI and copyright-infringing superhero metaphors.

Man, I love reality. I mean, seriously we are like gods. Gods who are easily entertained.

The Late Night Wars Explained for You [Slog]

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Oh, hells bells, this is pretty damn awesome. Christopher Lee, the second-best Dracula of all time, is making a metal album, a tribute to Charlemagne. No, seriously, check this out

Christopher Lee, famed star of Hammer horror movies, Lord Of The Rings, and much, much more will be coming soon to some earphones near you. Videogum and The Guardian have the news that the 87-year-old actor plans to release a “symphonic metal” album about the life and career of Charlemagne, the first Holy Roman Emperor and a direct ancestor of Lee himself. “To my surprise and indeed great pleasure, I have suddenly found that there is another string to my bow,” Lee announced.

This is, quite simply, one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever heard, purely on concept. If it’s half as face-meltingly awesome as it should be, we’re all going to be in for a good time.

Christopher Lee Will Rock Your Face Off [Topless Robot, via Onion AV Club]

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Allow the lovely ladies of the LA Derby Dolls to explain basic principles of electricity to you, accompanied by a catchy little tune. Mmmm, I love science.

The Electrical Derby [io9.com]

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For years, it has been thought that Man alone (and okay, maybe a few birds/simians/mammals) used tools. Essentially though, creatures with spines. Alas, tentacled doom has revealed itself anew with the news that a certain species of octopus has been found to carry around halved coconut shells which it then uses as body armour when it feels threatened. From New Scientist:

When the octopuses come across these on the seabed, they drape their bodies over and around the shells, hollow-side up, leaving their eight arms dangling over the edges.

The octopuses then lift the shells by making their arms rigid, before tiptoeing away in a manoeuvre Finn calls stilt-walking.

When the octopuses feel threatened, they flip the half shells over themselves and hide. Some even use two shells to create a more spacious shelter with an opening through which they can keep a lookout.

Well, you know what this means. First, they build protection, then the weapons. Next thing you know, Ol’ Uncle Cthulhu has an army where every soldier has us at a two-to-one limb disadvantage. I dunno about you, but I’m going to go source some octopus-spray…

Octopus Uses Coconut Shells as Portable Armor [io9.com, via New Scientist]

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I mean, it’s pretty obvious why this is awesome, right? I don’t think I really need to go into details here. I must say though, I’d love to have been on the scene when this picture was taken. Too geeky for words, yet so awesome it hurts a little.

Slave Leia Pillow Fight [Topless Robot, via Kontraband]

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Just… wow. I have not seen anything this cracky in quite some time. A giant robot bunnygirl shoots a giant robot panda in the face with her rocket boobs. If you need more impretus than that to watch this clip, you probably are reading the wrong blog.

Panda-Z, Episode 01 [YouTube]

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Now who would’ve thought this would happen? At the ripe old age of 71, Rudy Ray Moore is brining his biggest, baddest, blackest creation back to the screen! Dolemite is the man, didn’t you know? This trailer contains approximately 78 flavours of kick-ass, and I love each and every one, and so should you, sucker. Vive La Pimp!

The Dolemite Explosion [/Film]

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Oh course, it was only a matter of time before I did a post on one of my great loves, Lucha Libre. The history of free wrestling in Mexico dates back to the turn of the twentieth century, and the masked wrestler has evolved into one of the icons of Mexican culture. One of the most notable instances of this is the dozens upon dozens of films starring wrestlers as their masked personas. By far the most famous cinematic luchadore is Santo, the silver-masked titan who starred in almost every genre possible, from crime comedies to vampiric horror. Somewhat less prolific, though no less famous, Santo often starred with Mil Mascaras and the Blue Demon, both of whom starred in films of their own. Santo And Friends is a deep, devoted site dedicated to these demi-gods of wrestling, their films, and the general sci-fi/fantasy cinema of Mexico. Well worth a look if you’ve ever had any interest in this most fascinating sub-section of cinema, or if you have any appreciation for the high-flying art of Lucha Libre.

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Wow, I don’t even know what to say about these. Painstakingly hand-coloured, these photos show the battle of Paaschendale as never seen before. One of the most brutal battles of the first Great War, over a quarter of a million Allied soldiers died between July and November of 1917. Over 54,000 of the dead have no known graves, just an arch with their names engraved on it. The photos show the Belgian countryside turned into swamp, a festering wasteland of death. Back then, war really was Hell.

Hell on Earth: The never before seen colour photographs of the bloody battle of Passchendaele, via Ectoplasmosis

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I think the kids at Kotaku hit the nail on the head with their description: Greatest Game Ever Made. Rose & Camellia is a Japanese flash game set in a household in the Victorian era. You play a common-born girl who has married into a noble family. Unfortunately, your husband dies the very next day (what a wedding night!), and your evil bitch in-laws want to cut you out of the party. The only solution? Slap them till they break! I’m trying this on my Wii as soon as I get home…

Rose & Camellia, by way of Kotaku and Selectbutton

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