This commercial for a brand of peanut butter I only half-remember from my childhood is a freakish snapshot of how things were, or at least how things were supposed to be. Witness the perplexed look on the mother’s face, her buck teeth jutting out of her pouty mouth like a cartoonish beaver. She nods, smiles slightly because that’s what you’re supposed to do when a man tells you what to do, even if that man is a stranger with unkept hair, dressed like a pedophiliac Robin Hood. The children too, behave properly, tearing into the sandwich with approving gusto, exaggerated nods of approval as he knocks over pots and pans on the counter to make his escape. This was the 70s, my friends; let us remember, so it never happens again.

The 1970s Were Strange [The Stranger, via WOW Report]

This’d be one of those things Bill Hicks would call a good drug story. In Baseball, for a pitcher, one of the most impressive feats is to throw a straight no-hitter, practically winning a game single-handedly for your team. On June 12th, 1970, Dock Ellis of the Pittsburgh Pirates did just that, against the San Diego Padres, while tripping balls on acid. This adorable little video illustrates his experience while he narrates in the background. Some good stuff, maaaan.

Turn On, Tune In, Strike Out [Come on, Let's Go via No Mas]

Ah, childhood and the scars it leaves upon us. Back in the day when we still had local children’s programming, there was a British former clown who went by the name of Uncle Bobby, and his show was one of the most low-budget affairs you can imagine. This clip I present to you shows Bimbo The Birthday Clown, a giant cardboard monstrosity who would present birthday wishes to the boys and girls. One must remember, however, that what appears to us now to be laughable and quaint, to a young child was terrifying. The flapping ears, the rolling eyes of the giant with his jabbering mouth; the high-pitched cries of the yarn puppets, creatures I can still never look at without a modicum of discomfort. Truly nightmarish. Please, enjoy my memories laid bare for you, whilst I leave you with a transcript of the goliath’s song, which rings through my head to this day:

Bimbo Bimbo

I’m the birthday

clown they call

Bimbo Bimbo

On the Uncle Bobby Show

Bimbo Bimbo

I would like to say

you and you a very

happy birthday

“Happy birthday boys and girls”

Happy Birthday, indeed.

The Uncle Bobby Show – Bimbo the Birthday Clown [YouTube]

Ah, the bright shiny future! come my friends, and view the glories of the time to come, 1960! This video clip is a visual document of The Futurama, a exhibit/ride at the 1939 New York World’s Fair. Sponsosred by General Motors, The Futurama is a perfect example of the type of optimistic idea people had about the future back then. Admittedly we now know it’s all lies and cookies, but think what could have been! Automated highways, “gyro-coptors”, and suburbs that don’t suck you of the will to live. Oh, shiny future, where’s my fucking flying car?

Retro Futurism: The Great Metropolis of 1960 and What Criswell Found There [io9.com]

In one of the more delightful things I’ve ever seen in my life, some enterprising soul has done something almost unthinkable: made Usher bearable. Outside of my realm of experience, appartently Chuck E. Chhese used to have a competitor called Showbiz Pizza, and Showbiz had their own in-house animatronic band The Rock-afire Explosion. I’m not sure of the source of this video, but in a nutshell it’s Usher’s “Love In This Club” as preformed by said talking animal stage show… and it’s brilliant. I hope this affects your day as much as it has mine.

Usher – Love In This Club [YouTube]

It’s painfully obvious at this point how fresh and new this blog is, however, it’s actually an extension, a branch, if you would, from my LiveJournal account. I just decided I wanted something a bit more robust for my newsier posts, possibly with a bit of collaboration. I do love skimming through my old posts, clicking on years-old links to see if they still work. On this note, I was greatly pleased to find that the 40 oz Crew is still rolling along. I mean, when it comes to ugly white kids getting hella drunk on shitty beer, these guys take the cake! My memory is a bit fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure that’s the same site design they had five years ago. From that lovely locale we move along to the intriguing BumWine.Com, a petite little site which gives you some background information on the top five tipples of homeless alcoholics, as well as a smattering of other hooches. But wait, there’s more! Both Ghetto Wine and Bad Beer provide their own whimsical, badly-coded takes on the cheap stuff.

Personally, I’m a whiskey man myself.