I’m just baffled. Part of me wants to know what the hell she’s singing about, part of me thinks it would ruin things. This is amazing though; the CG monsters, the set, the faceless fat dancers, and the creppy-cute lead singer who farts static out of her ass. If I met an alien, and wanted him to understand what Japan was, I’d show him this video.
And then we’d all be boned.
Morning music videos: “Ponponpon” [I ♥ Chaos]
Okay, it’s been ages since I posted. I drink, okay? Anyhow, here’s a very funny parody of Lady Gaga’s Born This Way about mutants and the X-Men. You kids like the comic books, right? No, never mind, the only people who read X-Men are over 30. Fuck. Whatever, Mystique is pretty damn hot for a blue chick, and there’s a cute bit where Jean goes all Dark Phoenix when she sees Scott making moves on Emma.
Fuck, X-Men is a soap opera for idiots. Whatever, enjoy the video.
Magneto: Still Born This Way (In Case You Were Wondering) [Topless Robot]
When your sex-ed teacher is named Ms. Lovecraft, you know yr in for some strange shit. Tentacle sex and mother-of-pearl streams, you know? An official selection at Sundance 2005, this short film by Craig MacNeill and Clay McLeod Chapman is the very sum of every pubescent child’s most antediluvian fears.
Sex Ed with H.P. Lovecraft [Topless Robot]
Easter is this weekend, and with Easter comes a 1000-rabbit-strong Bunnarchy march in Seattle. In honour of my lovely Merkin friends and their lepusophiliac frolics, I present to you MC Bunny’s The Bunny Bounce. With more shaking bootys of both genders than you can shake a carrot at, it’s a good way to think about the original meaning of Easter.
Yes, I’m talking about fucking.
MC Bunny $ and the Drill Team Bumps You into Easter Weekend [The Stranger]
Frankly, I’m not really sure how I feel about this video; the music is a bit weak, and the geek references seem forced. On the other hand, it’s got Tinkerballa from The Guild in a Ghostbusters outfit, and that’s damn hot.
“Tonight I’m Frakking You” is your new scifi dance single [io9.com]
“Like tribbles we’ll cuddle day and night…”
Oh seriously, could she be any more adorable? The little hip-hop break in the middle is pretty hilarious too. Goddess, it’s good to be a geek.
Morning music videos: “Star Trek Girl” [I ♥ Chaos, via NerdBastards]
Justin Bieber, meet John Waters. I’m certain you two will get along.
Here is John Waters Giving Justin Bieber a “Reach Around.” That is All. [The Stranger]
Sometimes, I just genuinely love how fucking weird our world is getting. Especially in the world of burlesque! In lovely NYC, Rosey La Rouge and the sassy ladies of Storybook Burlesque put together a Muppet Show-themed evening of sultry delights! Hit the cute for several more pics of these fabulous boys and girls in action! I think I may have a little crush on Cookie Monster…
Desecrating Childhoods: Muppet Burlesque [Geekologie, via Asylum]
She’s… pretty cute, actually. The hair’s perfect Tennant, the trenchcoat is good, sonic screwdriver, glasses… You could even imagine him…
I think I need a little bit of a lie-down, I’m feeling all funny and confused inside.
The Doctor Ditches the TARDIS to Work the Pole [Topless Robot]
Man, Venezualan prank TV is hard core! This actress apparently has a very deep-seated belief in ghosts, so prank show ¡Qué Locura! (What Madness!) decided to try to give her a nervous breakdown. I love it!
اقوى كاميرا خفية بالعالم روعه [YouTube]
Allow the lovely ladies of the LA Derby Dolls to explain basic principles of electricity to you, accompanied by a catchy little tune. Mmmm, I love science.
The Electrical Derby [io9.com]
You know, that’s both impressive, and disturbing. Look how big that keychain is!
Boobs are really handy for storing lots of stuff [I Heart Chaos, via YouTube]
I don’t know if this is the best thing I’ve seen all month, or the absolute worst. In the holiday season fo 1977, Donny & Marie Osborne, the shameless brother and sister act, decided to do a skit where they played Luke and Leia (did they know something we didn’t?) for a musical medly playing off of a then-hit film you may have heard of, Star Wars. so they gathered memebers of the real cast, specifically Anthony Daniels as C3-P0, and Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca, got themselves a remote controlled R2-D2, and proceeded to leave behind a legacy of pain and suffering.
Okay, I may exaggerate slightly, but still, this shit be whack. We’ve got notorious fag icon Paul Lynde playing Moff Tarkin to the upper limits of camp, we have the voice of TONY THE FUCKING TIGER dubbing Darth for us, and we have, and admittedly I love this bit, sexy stormtroopettes. I only use that phrasing because of the high-kicking legs. Yeah.
Oh, did I forget to mention Kris Kristofferson plays Han solo, and Redd Fucking Foxx plays Obi-Wan (while plugging his then-current show)? Oh, fuck yeah. I can’t make this stuff up. They had some goooood drugs back then…
It’s Like Awesome and Awful Had a Baby [Topless Robot, via YouTube]
Lovely picture, isn’t it? I think it looks nice, personally, but the young lady pictured seems to disagree. Kimberley Vlaeminck, an 18 year old Belgian girl, went into the Tattoo Box studio in Kortrijk to get a tattoo done. Her story is:
“I wanted him to tattoo on just three little points but he suggested three stars, saying it would look prettier.
“When he started the tattooing I didn’t want to feel the pain and so I went to sleep. I had got up at five in the morning.”
“I woke up when he was starting to tattoo my nose and I saw what he had already done. I counted 56 stars, it’s frightening.”
Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever had a tattoo done, but let me tell you, those thing sting like a son-of-a-bitch. The closer you are to the bone, the more it hurts too; it’s easier to get a tattoo on your ass than on your sternum, for example. The mere thought that this young lady could pass out cold while getting facial tattoos is so absurd as to be laughable. The artist in question offers a much more reasonable assertion:
“She was awake and looked in the mirror several times as the procedure was being done… She agreed, but when her father saw it, the trouble started…”
I’ve no doubt that daddy freaked when he saw his little angel all marked up like a sparkle-princess street hood, so she made up this bullshit story. The lack of personal accountability in modern day society is truly sickening; the worst part is, the artist is going to find up paying stupid amounts of money to lawyers to defend himself from her claims. Tres lame.
Belgian girl’s tattoo ‘nightmare’ [BBC News]
Okay, yeah, it’s a bodyspray commercial, but c’mon! Girl-on-girl panty-clad lightsaber action!
GRRR, LIGHTSABER LINGERIE FIGHT! [FilmDrunk]
Now, it should come as no surprise to you that many hard-core fetish people are also nerds. It fascinates me sometimes how the interests roll together, like a couple of E’d up ravers on a bed with fluffy blankets. Honestly, I’m amazed something like this hasn’t come to my attention before, but it’s gorgeous. I mean, just look at it! Can’t you just see Dr. Crusher getting off shift to change into something less comfortable and play Number One with Picard? Meee-rowr! It certainly helps that the model is a hottie. Oh, those are some lovely friends she has there…
I think the title is rather self-explanatory. The good folk at Ectoplasmosis seem undecided as to whether or not this long-furred coat is made of monkey pelts. While the idea of skinning anthropoids for clothing is generally regarded as horrible in the Occidental countries nowadays, back in the decadent 20s I’m sure it was probably considered quite daringly fashionable. I personally like to believe that Ms. Swanson actually hunted down each and every monkey herself, wielding a handmade bow and wearing very little in the way of protective clothing. It really makes for quite the fetching mental image.
Monkey Fur [Ectoplasmosis, via vintagephoto]
This is both sad and hilarious. An anonyblog for female bad sex survivors, I bang the worst dudes is made of of censor-barred images and brief anecdotes of poor sexual performance by males. The funny comes from the fact that a lot of these tales are dreadfullly droll, and you’re realy sorry that anyone had to go through that. The sad is closely related; it’s absolutely horrible that some of these girls got into the situations described. Take this highlight for example:
This guy would demand oral sex repeatedly and when I finally relented he tried to face-humped me like a rabbit.
Why would you finally give in? Why would you even keep hanging out with the guy? Tolerating his presence indicates to him that his behaviour is acceptable; giving in rewards his for his bothersome persistence. The fact that none of them accept any blame for the badness brings it a bit into the male-bashing perspective, but a bit of misandry is good for the soul, they tell me. Interesting, Firefox recognizes “misogyny”, but not “misandry”. Heh. Funny that.
Anyhow, it’s certainly worth taking your time to scroll through; there’s only eleven pages or so at this point, though I’m sure that’ll grow. I must say I question how many of the photos are genuine, and how many are just some random guy blacked out to the point of being unrecognizable, but they do add a certain pleasing visual style to the whole thing. Just don’t be surprised if some of the stories read more bitter than clever.
Don’t get me wrong, I am so fucking pleased that Obama won, but frankly I think this was the coolest thing of the evening. Holographic projection communication! In full colour too, better than the tech they had in Star Wars!
Hologram reporter with Blitzer [CNN.com]
