Do you like Miles Fisher? His newest EP marks a new peak of professionalism. This is his take on David Byrne’s “This Must Be The Place”. A great, great song, and a personal favourite.
I have watched this video every single day since I found it. It’s a perfect, perfect rendering of music to motion, a consummate point of music video mastery. It’s pure glory. I cannot say enough good things about it.
Of course, it’s about a serial killer. I have my weaknesses.
Little know fact: This is one of my favourite songs in the world. Now I will never be able to listen to it without thinking of Miss Piggy gyrating on Rolf’s piano. Fuck.
How on earth this escaped my attention, I will never know, but I’m glad I’ve found it now! Apparently last Hallowe’en, Hustler released a porn spoof of The Munsters, rather plainly titled This Ain’t The Munsters XXX. Notable scenes apparently include Herman and Lily celebrating their wedding anniversary with a cemetery sex session, and Eddie, gets to “howl with pleasure” as he makes it with two girls. As you can see from the embedded trailer, Marilyn and Grandpa are also included, so I can only imagine what they get up to. Mmmm, Marilyn. Now, I just need a copy for the collection. Purely for research purposes, you understand.
What a lovely mid-week surprise! With much less time between the last two installments, James Gunn has given us another scintillating installment of PG Porn! This time featuring the most lucious Jenna Haze as the porn star du jour, the twist, while not quite as satisfying personally as the punchline of Roadside Ass-sistance, is still fucking hilarity in a four-minute package. Enjoy!
Sometimes, I find a site which is just so perfectly aligned towards my interests that I get a little weepy. With a name like Dinosaurs Fucking Robots, I don’t see any need to explain why. I mean, you’re already here, right? Go check it out; it’s a pleasant combination of the amatuerish, the sophisticated, and the genuinely pornographic. So awesome.
It’s a fact that I love reading police reports. When the authoring officer has taken their time to do them well, the results can be rather arresting, if you’ll pardon the pun. Take for example this report, from this August in Portland, Oregon, about a 47 year old mean man who was caught naked, masturbating on a bridge:
While I was waiting for cover I could see [the subject] put lubrication on his semi-flaccid penis and then start to massage it in a rapid motion with his hand in a fist. He then picked up a rubber device and inserted his now erect penis in this rubber device and began to stroke the rubber device rapidly back and forth over his penis. He momentarily stopped and picked up a magazine and propped it on the pedestrian guardrail edge so he could better view it. He then disengaged the rubber device and began to kneel down and insert his penis in the pseudo vagina of the blow-up doll. He began to gyrate his hips back and forth while his erect penis was going in and out of the blow-up doll.
I then seized the blow-up doll, the packaged carton for the blow-up doll labeled as “Lindsay Fully Loaded Love Doll,” a personal rubber masturbation device and a pornographic magazine. The magazine was open to the nude picture of a female. As I attempted to deflate the blow-up doll, I could see that all three of the pseudo orifices of the doll had lubrication on them by the shiny, greasy sheen on them. I then took them to the Central Precinct property room and placed them in a locker as evidence.
Really, what the hell can you add to that? I just love the idea that this older man decided that the perfect way to get his rocks off that night was to stroll down to bridge on a warm summer night, dtrip down and make love to his shiny plastic lady friend. Unfortunately, the police report does not mention the size of his balls, because I am certain they were huge. A fun little footnote is found at the bottom of the report:
There was also a transient sleeping in a blanket about 3′ from where SB was engaged in his act(s).
Hooray! James Gunn has provided the internet world with another wonderful installment of his breath taking conception, PG Porn. Billed as everything you love about porn, except the sex, this is a follow-up to the first installment, Nailing Your Wife. This time, it’s the director himself acting against a young lady who is, quite possibly, my favourite currently-active porn star, Sasha Grey, who will more than likely become a mainstream film actress in the next few years. Putting her historical significance, and my puppy lust aside, make sure you watch the video the whole way through; you don’t want to miss the punchline.
This is both sad and hilarious. An anonyblog for female bad sex survivors, I bang the worst dudes is made of of censor-barred images and brief anecdotes of poor sexual performance by males. The funny comes from the fact that a lot of these tales are dreadfullly droll, and you’re realy sorry that anyone had to go through that. The sad is closely related; it’s absolutely horrible that some of these girls got into the situations described. Take this highlight for example:
This guy would demand oral sex repeatedly and when I finally relented he tried to face-humped me like a rabbit.
Why would you finally give in? Why would you even keep hanging out with the guy? Tolerating his presence indicates to him that his behaviour is acceptable; giving in rewards his for his bothersome persistence. The fact that none of them accept any blame for the badness brings it a bit into the male-bashing perspective, but a bit of misandry is good for the soul, they tell me. Interesting, Firefox recognizes “misogyny”, but not “misandry”. Heh. Funny that.
Anyhow, it’s certainly worth taking your time to scroll through; there’s only eleven pages or so at this point, though I’m sure that’ll grow. I must say I question how many of the photos are genuine, and how many are just some random guy blacked out to the point of being unrecognizable, but they do add a certain pleasing visual style to the whole thing. Just don’t be surprised if some of the stories read more bitter than clever.
James Gunn, director of my favourite horror film of 2006, Slither, has teamed up with Spike TV to produce a series of segments called PG Porn. These segments pair favourite actors with hot-ass porn starlets, in sex scenes without, well, the sex. This installment, which is already burning its way around the ‘net is called Nailing Your Wife, stars Nathan Fillion and the delectable Aria Giovanni, and is, quite possibly, the best damn thing I’ve seen all week. And I saw an awesome masturbation video the other day.
“If there was a committee, I imagine them telling her, ‘We’re sorry, but the formula to qualify for true sluttiness is as follows:
# of Total Men > Your Age x 1.5
Having slept with 40 men by the time you’re in your late 30s does not make you a slut. Go back into the world and get back to us when you’ve done something really depraved. Also, if you can, please find a better reason for sluttiness than your parents’ divorce. It’s been done.’” — Jessa Crispin
Frankly, I’d change that to # of Total Humans, but that’s just the PC in me.
Now here’s a bizarre little rarity. Back in the 1930s, Paramount pictures made a ton of little shorts under the blanket title of Hollywood On Parade, using a wide variety of actors, some famous stars, some not so much. The Three Stooges got their start in these films with Ted Healy, and some earlier Marx Brothers shorts were also part of the line. This is probably one of the weirdest ones I’ve seen though. Mae Questel, the voice of Olive Oyl for many years, was also the original Betty Boop. This short features her in a rare live performance as the lovely Miss Boop, singing a song to a pair of manly mannequins. Things are going swimmingly when suddenly Bela Lugosi shows up as the Count! With the chilling words, “Betty, you have booped your last boop,” some 1930s vampire-style necking occurs and, well, you get the picture.
Oh, Britney, is there anyone in the Western World who hasn’t seen your nasty little cooter? For someone who claims she just wants privacy, she’s had a hard time doing the things she needs to ensure that privacy, like say, wearing underwear. Anyways, as with all precious moments, Brit’s Box has been converted into collectible form, to be placed on your grandmother’s knick-knack shelf between the frowning child on the toilet and the little girl in the too-large gumboots and oversized yellow umbrella. Titled, “OOPS SHE DID IT AGAIN”, in all caps, no less, this charming little piece of art is available at a very-reasonable $39.95 USD. Click here to see the uncensored version, and while you’re at it, check out their spectacular piece called “Baby Drop”, which enshrines Michael Jackson’s inability to do anything right when it comes to children. Order both, save on shipping (and never speak to me again please)!
Ah, another shining example of humanity’s ability to show tolerance and love. Er, maybe not. Thanks to GayGamer, we have this lovely little example of why I really don’t give a flying fuck about playing online: Everyone’s a jerk. A Halo 3 player who goes by the gamertag of xxxGayBoyxxx (subtle!) has compiled some rather damning evidence of the lack of maturity commonly found in the grim cultural wasteland that is online gaming. I honestly cannot believe some of this, but it’s a proven fact that when you don’t have to look someone in the eye while you’re talking to them, all social filters (aka “politeness”) get tossed faster than an illegal immigrant when the feds start sniffing around.
Ganked from BoingBoing, we have this lovely, yet instructive, image. Remember, if they look just like you, kill them! Obviously you can do them first, but make sure to off ‘em afterwards. Hey, they’d do the same to you!
The tagline states, “Where ravaging tentacles explore the female student body”, and there’s not a word of it a lie. Part porn site, part creepy tentacle-obsessed choose-you-own-adventure, Shokushu High isn’t for the weak of stomach or faint of heart. With a combination of carefully chosen illustrations and lavishly descriptive text, you’re invited to wander the halls of a school that brims with perversity and lust, not to mention pseudopods of evil. Highly recommended.
Oh, if only it were true. I don’t know who made it, I don’t know what possessed them, but it’s here, and it’s absolutely hilarious. Using clips from the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, some brave soul has made what could’ve been the most educational thing ever for my generation: The Nintendo Sex Education Video. Prepare to learn as Mario and Luigi travel the pipes and tell you all about disease and hygeine! If only I’d seen this when I was younger, maybe I would’ve turned out better.
An Ann Arbor man is facing rape charges after police said he convinced a victim of a previous sexual assault that he wanted to help police by re-enacting the crime early Saturday morning.
I must say, that’s a new one in the ways of pick-up lines for me. “Oh, you poor thing. You know what I bet would help? A re-enactment! C’mon, we’ll do up the living room; you can use your bears!” I really wish I was exaggerating here. Well, maybe a bit on the fruity side, but really, read this from further down the article:
The woman said Stephens, whom she had known for several years, saw her and approached her in a grocery store about a week ago. During their conversation she said she was sexually assaulted in early May and that police were investigating but had not made an arrest, reports said. At the end of that conversation he agreed to fix her air conditioner in the near future, she said.
As the victim prepared for bed after midnight, Stephens came over holding a brown paper bag with a bottle of tequila, reports said. She told police that he said he had a friend in the police department who was interested in the case and suggested they re-enact the incident for “vital” information.
She agreed and they began drinking, as on the night of the previous assault. At one point they even rearranged furniture and placed stuffed animals in chairs to represent other people who were there that night, police reports said.
The fact that they actually used her stuffed animals for bystanders really tickles me. Okay, so, this guy you kinda know comes over to your house at midnight to “fix your air conditioner”, armed with a bottle of tequila and a hair-brained plan he got from his “friend” the “police officer”, and you don’t get the least little bit suspicious? I mean, I’m not one to play blame the victim or anything, but seriously, this girl needs to get her danger awareness ramped up. I mean, she just had her traumatic incident a little over two months ago, if that. Shouldn’t she be at least a little paranoid, if for no reason other than just post-traumatic stress? Some people just have no survival instincts nowadays. At least they guy’s been caught and charged though; I’d hate to think such a stupid and perverse plan would be rewarded by him escaping his just desserts.
Mexican wrestling, true crime, cryptozoology, exploitation cinema, weird news, overuse of the word "awesome", real-world steampunk, outsider music, low-brow culture, surrealist comedy, pulp fiction, and other ephemera. Welcome to the circus.
