Do you like Miles Fisher? His newest EP marks a new peak of professionalism. This is his take on David Byrne’s “This Must Be The Place”. A great, great song, and a personal favourite.

I have watched this video every single day since I found it. It’s a perfect, perfect rendering of music to motion, a consummate point of music video mastery. It’s pure glory. I cannot say enough good things about it.

Of course, it’s about a serial killer. I have my weaknesses.

Miles Fisher – This Must Be The Place [YouTube]

Little know fact: This is one of my favourite songs in the world. Now I will never be able to listen to it without thinking of Miss Piggy gyrating on Rolf’s piano. Fuck.

Miss Piggy Sings “Fuck The Pain Away” by Peaches [YouTube]

I’ve got nothing. Just… huh.

When Harry Met Wookiee [Topless Robot via Funny Or Die]

How on earth this escaped my attention, I will never know, but I’m glad I’ve found it now! Apparently last Hallowe’en, Hustler released a porn spoof of The Munsters, rather plainly titled This Ain’t The Munsters XXX. Notable scenes apparently include Herman and Lily celebrating their wedding anniversary with a cemetery sex session, and Eddie, gets to “howl with pleasure” as he makes it with two girls. As you can see from the embedded trailer, Marilyn and Grandpa are also included, so I can only imagine what they get up to. Mmmm, Marilyn. Now, I just need a copy for the collection. Purely for research purposes, you understand.

This Ain’t The Munsters XXX [Official Site]

What a lovely mid-week surprise! With much less time between the last two installments, James Gunn has given us another scintillating installment of PG Porn! This time featuring the most lucious Jenna Haze as the porn star du jour, the twist, while not quite as satisfying personally as the punchline of Roadside Ass-sistance, is still fucking hilarity in a four-minute package. Enjoy!

PG Porn: Squeal Happy Whores [Spike]

Sometimes, I find a site which is just so perfectly aligned towards my interests that I get a little weepy. With a name like Dinosaurs Fucking Robots, I don’t see any need to explain why. I mean, you’re already here, right? Go check it out; it’s a pleasant combination of the amatuerish, the sophisticated, and the genuinely pornographic. So awesome.

Dinosaurs Fucking Robots [via io9.com]

It’s a fact that I love reading police reports. When the authoring officer has taken their time to do them well, the results can be rather arresting, if you’ll pardon the pun. Take for example this report, from this August in Portland, Oregon, about a 47 year old mean man who was caught naked, masturbating on a bridge:

While I was waiting for cover I could see [the subject] put lubrication on his semi-flaccid penis and then start to massage it in a rapid motion with his hand in a fist. He then picked up a rubber device and inserted his now erect penis in this rubber device and began to stroke the rubber device rapidly back and forth over his penis. He momentarily stopped and picked up a magazine and propped it on the pedestrian guardrail edge so he could better view it. He then disengaged the rubber device and began to kneel down and insert his penis in the pseudo vagina of the blow-up doll. He began to gyrate his hips back and forth while his erect penis was going in and out of the blow-up doll.

I then seized the blow-up doll, the packaged carton for the blow-up doll labeled as “Lindsay Fully Loaded Love Doll,” a personal rubber masturbation device and a pornographic magazine. The magazine was open to the nude picture of a female. As I attempted to deflate the blow-up doll, I could see that all three of the pseudo orifices of the doll had lubrication on them by the shiny, greasy sheen on them. I then took them to the Central Precinct property room and placed them in a locker as evidence.

Really, what the hell can you add to that? I just love the idea that this older man decided that the perfect way to get his rocks off that night was to stroll down to bridge on a warm summer night, dtrip down and make love to his shiny plastic lady friend. Unfortunately, the police report does not mention the size of his balls, because I am certain they were huge. A fun little footnote is found at the bottom of the report:

There was also a transient sleeping in a blanket about 3′ from where SB was engaged in his act(s).

Not only was he violating every hole on a Lindsay Lohan replica love doll, he was also doing it mere feet from a sleeping person! Did he not notice, as our society has trained us to just not see the needy, or did he like it? The brain shudders in turgid contemplation.
Masturbation on the Morrison Bridge: 2008’s Best Police Report [Pervscan via Willamette Week Online]

Hooray! James Gunn has provided the internet world with another wonderful installment of his breath taking conception, PG Porn. Billed as everything you love about porn, except the sex, this is a follow-up to the first installment, Nailing Your Wife. This time, it’s the director himself acting against a young lady who is, quite possibly, my favourite currently-active porn star, Sasha Grey, who will more than likely become a mainstream film actress in the next few years. Putting her historical significance, and my puppy lust aside, make sure you watch the video the whole way through; you don’t want to miss the punchline.

PG Porn: Roadside Ass-sistance [Spike]

This is both sad and hilarious. An anonyblog for female bad sex survivors, I bang the worst dudes is made of of censor-barred images and brief anecdotes of poor sexual performance by males. The funny comes from the fact that a lot of these tales are dreadfullly droll, and you’re realy sorry that anyone had to go through that. The sad is closely related; it’s absolutely horrible that some of these girls got into the situations described. Take this highlight for example:

This guy would demand oral sex repeatedly and when I finally relented he tried to face-humped me like a rabbit.

Why would you finally give in? Why would you even keep hanging out with the guy? Tolerating his presence indicates to him that his behaviour is acceptable; giving in rewards his for his bothersome persistence. The fact that none of them accept any blame for the badness brings it a bit into the male-bashing perspective, but a bit of misandry is good for the soul, they tell me. Interesting, Firefox recognizes “misogyny”, but not “misandry”. Heh. Funny that.

Anyhow, it’s certainly worth taking your time to scroll through; there’s only eleven pages or so at this point, though I’m sure that’ll grow. I must say I question how many of the photos are genuine, and how many are just some random guy blacked out to the point of being unrecognizable, but they do add a certain pleasing visual style to the whole thing. Just don’t be surprised if some of the stories read more bitter than clever.

I bang the worst dudes (sorry mom) [via the blazing shark]

James Gunn, director of my favourite horror film of 2006, Slither, has teamed up with Spike TV to produce a series of segments called PG Porn. These segments pair favourite actors with hot-ass porn starlets, in sex scenes without, well, the sex. This installment, which is already burning its way around the ‘net is called Nailing Your Wife, stars Nathan Fillion and the delectable Aria Giovanni, and is, quite possibly, the best damn thing I’ve seen all week. And I saw an awesome masturbation video the other day.

PG Porn: Nailing Your Wife [Spike]