Star Wars as if it were a silent picture from the 1900s. Simply brilliant.

This Is Your Grandfather’s Star Wars! [The Stranger]

Yub nub, eee chop yub nub

Toe meet toe pee chee keene

G’noop dock fling oh ah

Great. That’s going to be going thorugh my head alllll day. Fucking Ewoks.

Ruining Your Afternoon [The Stranger]

Oh god, they’ve finally managed to combine bacon and Star Wars. Look how huge that thing is! It contains over forty pounds of bacon! The singularity is nigh! Everybody panic!

Mmmm… baaaaaacon.

The Bacon AT-AT: ‘Star Wars’ And Pork, Together At Last [Huffington Post]

Man, I know I say it a lot, but I just fucking love the Japanese. Especially back in the day when they didn’t give a flying fuck about American copyright. Ghetto Vader control panel, the bowing before the (interrupted) light saber battle, great jumpin’ wookiees? They’re a special people man. Damn special.

Star Wars + ’70s Japan + Sea Chicken – All Semblance of Sanity = This [Topless Robot via CNNgo]

Why don’t we get after-Hallowe’en statistics like this in Vancouver? I’m very curious as to how many crimes were committed by popular fictional characters. I’m pretty sure Boba Fett tried to roofie a friend of mine. Or was that me?

Later Batman Stated He Was “Sorry About The Window.” [Probably Bad News]

I’ve got nothing. Just… huh.

When Harry Met Wookiee [Topless Robot via Funny Or Die]

I don’t know if this is the best thing I’ve seen all month, or the absolute worst. In the holiday season fo 1977, Donny & Marie Osborne, the shameless brother and sister act, decided to do a skit where they played Luke and Leia (did they know something we didn’t?) for a musical medly playing off of a then-hit film you may have heard of, Star Wars. so they gathered memebers of the real cast, specifically Anthony Daniels as C3-P0, and Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca, got themselves a remote controlled R2-D2, and proceeded to leave behind a legacy of pain and suffering.

Okay, I may exaggerate slightly, but still, this shit be whack. We’ve got notorious fag icon Paul Lynde playing Moff Tarkin to the upper limits of camp, we have the voice of TONY THE FUCKING TIGER dubbing Darth for us, and we have, and admittedly I love this bit, sexy stormtroopettes. I only use that phrasing because of the high-kicking legs. Yeah.

Oh, did I forget to mention Kris Kristofferson plays Han solo, and Redd Fucking Foxx plays Obi-Wan (while plugging his then-current show)? Oh, fuck yeah. I can’t make this stuff up. They had some goooood drugs back then…

It’s Like Awesome and Awful Had a Baby [Topless Robot, via YouTube]

Okay, yeah, it’s a bodyspray commercial, but c’mon! Girl-on-girl panty-clad lightsaber action!

GRRR, LIGHTSABER LINGERIE FIGHT! [FilmDrunk]

This pony makes me feel funny inside.

My Little Disturbingly Attractive Slave Pony Leia [ToplessRobot]

Okay, maybe not technically, but I can’t tell if this thing is creepy or cool. The Star Wars-branded The Force Trainer uses an EEG reading headband to allow you to float a plastic ball up a ten-inch tube, so as to appear analogous to Luke’s training sessions on Dagobah. The technology, formerly used in fancy military experiments and physiotherapy devices, seems to be spreading out into children’s toys.

It’s funny how often former military tech is applied to stuff for kids.Or do I mean disturbing? Yeah, that’s the one.

Star Wars Force Trainer teaches children to kill… with their minds [Engadget via USA Today]

This is lots of fun. Taking all the scenes with R2-D2 from the excreble Star Wars: Episode One, a fellow by the name of MeanestBear has managed to wring some amusement from the biggest disappointment of 1999. As a bonus, you can also remind yourself of how gaddamn fucking annoying Jar Jar was, and roll your eyes at young Anakin’s “piloting” skills. Fun for the whole family!

VOTD: R2-D2 Subtitled [/film, via DailyWhat]

I mean, it’s pretty obvious why this is awesome, right? I don’t think I really need to go into details here. I must say though, I’d love to have been on the scene when this picture was taken. Too geeky for words, yet so awesome it hurts a little.

Slave Leia Pillow Fight [Topless Robot, via Kontraband]