Archive for the ‘true crime’ Category

November 25th, 2009 by frankie23


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Why don’t we get after-Hallowe’en statistics like this in Vancouver? I’m very curious as to how many crimes were committed by popular fictional characters. I’m pretty sure Boba Fett tried to roofie a friend of mine. Or was that me?

Later Batman Stated He Was “Sorry About The Window.” [Probably Bad News]

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Kari Farrell, The Hipster Grifter

June 16th, 2009 by frankie23

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Geez, I’ve been neglecting my pretty little blog, haven’t I? Ah well, I’ve got some gems stored up for y’all, and we’re going to start with this amusing little tale.

Back in March, this cute little Korean girl walked into Vice Magazine, all tattoos and smiles, to interview for a job. She said she used to work for a ticket company, was big into music and the scene, and charmed the pants off of her interviewer. They hired her on the spot. A few days later, one of her co-workers decided to Google her, and suddenly the new hire was revealed as a serial scammer of amusingly grand proportions

Wanted in Utah for floating bad cheques, Kari moved to NYC, great state of opportunity, to continue her grifting ways. Her marks were stupid boys who reacted positively towards her aggressive sexual advances; she’d control them with sob stories of cancer and pregnancy scares, bilk them for a few grand and then vamoose when they either got wise or fed up. Here’s a typical quote:

Bobby told some friends of his the whole story and they seemed incredulous, so he Googled her and found the wanted poster. “After I realized the whole thing was bullshit, she continued to send me texts,” he said “She texted me on Christmas to tell me that she loved me. As soon as I realized who she really was, I stopped contacting her.”

Okay, so, you figured out that she was a wanted criminal, and just started to ignore her? Dude, two words: Reward Money. I’m sure someone down in Utah would’ve been happy to offer a little cash bonus for bringing in one of their most wanted. But no, Robert decided to just shun Kari, letting her continue on her string of scams and skips. The article mentions several people doing this, and I’m just appalled. Where’s the social responsibility? Heck, where’s the urge to profit? Kids these days have no business sense. Anyhow, as I’m reading, one thing sticks out to me. While I admire Miss Farrell’s anti-social tendencies, she keeps on making on giant fucking mistake. Can you guess what it is? Bobby finally wised up…

“What I find so strange is that she uses her real name,” Bobby, the 23-year-old Rutgers student, said. “I was thinking she’s just a really good liar. She goes after people who are very trusting, and exploits that. She really had me going—my first instinct is not to Google someone when I meet them.”

For some god-forsaken reason, Kari keeps using her real name! For such a smart, charismatic young lady, a mistake of this magnitude is rather shocking. I can only presume that her repeated string of successes has made her cocky, but it won’t last forever. Considering she got busted a month ago in Philadelphia, it may already be over for her. Kari, if you ever read this, please, start using some aliases; you’re far too easy to find on Google as it stands.

Oh, and Bobby? Maybe you should make it your first priority to Google people you meet. It’ll be a lot safer in the future for you, I’m sure.

The Hipster Grifter [The Observer]

Klingon Konvenience Krimes

February 4th, 2009 by frankie23

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I do love the novelty and variety that the modern criminal can provide us with nowadays. From the Colorado News:

Colorado Springs police are looking for a man who hit two 7-Eleven convenience stores early Wednesday, armed with a Klingon sword.

The first robbery was reported at 1:50 a.m., at 145 N Spruce St. The clerk told police a white man in his 20s, wearing a black mask, black jacket, and blue jeans, entered the store with a weapon the clerk recognized from the Star Trek TV series.

The robber demanded money and left with an undisclosed amount.

A half hour later, police received a call from a 7-Eleven at 2407 N. Union Blvd., where a man matching the previous description entered the store with a similar weapon. He also demanded money from the store clerk. The clerk refused and the robber “transported” himself out of the store on foot.

Love it love it love it. Dude robs two 7-11s in the same night with a god-damn bat’leth. How stupid/awesome is that? More importantly, how many people who live in Colorado Springs have one of the damn things? He’ll probably be arrested in his mom’s basement by the weekend.

Masked Man Robs Stores With Klingon Sword [TheDenverChannel.com]

Masturbation On The Morrison Bridge

January 30th, 2009 by frankie23

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It’s a fact that I love reading police reports. When the authoring officer has taken their time to do them well, the results can be rather arresting, if you’ll pardon the pun. Take for example this report, from this August in Portland, Oregon, about a 47 year old mean man who was caught naked, masturbating on a bridge:

While I was waiting for cover I could see [the subject] put lubrication on his semi-flaccid penis and then start to massage it in a rapid motion with his hand in a fist. He then picked up a rubber device and inserted his now erect penis in this rubber device and began to stroke the rubber device rapidly back and forth over his penis. He momentarily stopped and picked up a magazine and propped it on the pedestrian guardrail edge so he could better view it. He then disengaged the rubber device and began to kneel down and insert his penis in the pseudo vagina of the blow-up doll. He began to gyrate his hips back and forth while his erect penis was going in and out of the blow-up doll.

I then seized the blow-up doll, the packaged carton for the blow-up doll labeled as “Lindsay Fully Loaded Love Doll,” a personal rubber masturbation device and a pornographic magazine. The magazine was open to the nude picture of a female. As I attempted to deflate the blow-up doll, I could see that all three of the pseudo orifices of the doll had lubrication on them by the shiny, greasy sheen on them. I then took them to the Central Precinct property room and placed them in a locker as evidence.

Really, what the hell can you add to that? I just love the idea that this older man decided that the perfect way to get his rocks off that night was to stroll down to bridge on a warm summer night, dtrip down and make love to his shiny plastic lady friend. Unfortunately, the police report does not mention the size of his balls, because I am certain they were huge. A fun little footnote is found at the bottom of the report:

There was also a transient sleeping in a blanket about 3′ from where SB was engaged in his act(s).

Not only was he violating every hole on a Lindsay Lohan replica love doll, he was also doing it mere feet from a sleeping person! Did he not notice, as our society has trained us to just not see the needy, or did he like it? The brain shudders in turgid contemplation.
Masturbation on the Morrison Bridge: 2008’s Best Police Report [Pervscan via Willamette Week Online]

Ninja girls rob gas station

September 26th, 2007 by frankie23

This weekend in Richland Township, Pennsylvania, 2 women dressed as ninjas held up a gas station by pointing a samurai sword at the clerk. Early Saturday morning, the suspects bound the female clerk with duct tape while held at swordpoint, and put her in a restroom. The security tape shows one of the women stealing cash from the register, then finding the key to a bottom safe and cleaning out the rolled coins. The ninja then attempted to open the top safe but, after failing that, the two girls then filled their bag with scratch-n-wins and cigarettes.

It’s really surprising to me that Pennsylvania has such a ninja problem, as less than three percent of the population is of asian decent. Obviously it’s not exactly necessary to be asian to be a ninja, but it’s certainly more common. As things stand though, these were very poor ninjas, getting caught on camera, operating in the daylight, and failing to get into the primary safe are all big mistakes. Hopefully their sensei sees this on the news and chastizes the errant students.

Ninja Girls Rob Gas Station [LiveLeak, via The Bougieman]

KKKarnival

August 13th, 2007 by frankie23

KKKarnival!

Words fail me, they really do. So spooooky they are, with their big black circles for eyes. It’s odd to remember that once upon a time, running around dressed like Caspar the Friendly Ghost via Zippy the Pinhead was considered not only to be acceptable, but admirable. The times do change, thank fuck.

RiotClitShave

Look both ways before you cross the street

July 24th, 2007 by frankie23

Look both ways

This picture was taken on Avenida Chapultepec and Calle de Monterrey in Colonia Roma. She was a very famous journalist who wrote some really good books. That day she had a book-release party and was on her way there. She was all made up, going to pick up her sister to go to the event. Crossing the street, two cars crashed and then ran her over. This picture is great because she has all her makeup on and she just doesn’t look dead even though she is.

Not much more to say to that. She just looks so… uncomfortable. I think it’s nice that young man is giving her a blanket…

Enrique Metinides is our new favorite photographer [Viceland.com, via Ectoplasmosis]

Ezra Pound’s mugshot

July 19th, 2007 by frankie23

Ezra Pound’s mugshot

On May 3rd, 1945, at the tail end of World War II, Ezra Pound turned himself in to the American military for his involvement with Mussolini’s government. He was arrested, and tried for treason. He was found not guilty by reason of insanity, and spent the next twelve years in an asylum. Considering it could’ve been the death penalty, he got a pretty good deal.

Civic Portraiture #24 [if charlie parker was a gunslinger, there’d be a whole lot of dead copycats]

Woman convinced to re-enact rape

July 19th, 2007 by frankie23

Taken from the headlines of the Ann Arbor News:

An Ann Arbor man is facing rape charges after police said he convinced a victim of a previous sexual assault that he wanted to help police by re-enacting the crime early Saturday morning.

I must say, that’s a new one in the ways of pick-up lines for me. “Oh, you poor thing. You know what I bet would help? A re-enactment! C’mon, we’ll do up the living room; you can use your bears!” I really wish I was exaggerating here. Well, maybe a bit on the fruity side, but really, read this from further down the article:

The woman said Stephens, whom she had known for several years, saw her and approached her in a grocery store about a week ago. During their conversation she said she was sexually assaulted in early May and that police were investigating but had not made an arrest, reports said. At the end of that conversation he agreed to fix her air conditioner in the near future, she said.

As the victim prepared for bed after midnight, Stephens came over holding a brown paper bag with a bottle of tequila, reports said. She told police that he said he had a friend in the police department who was interested in the case and suggested they re-enact the incident for “vital” information.

She agreed and they began drinking, as on the night of the previous assault. At one point they even rearranged furniture and placed stuffed animals in chairs to represent other people who were there that night, police reports said.

The fact that they actually used her stuffed animals for bystanders really tickles me. Okay, so, this guy you kinda know comes over to your house at midnight to “fix your air conditioner”, armed with a bottle of tequila and a hair-brained plan he got from his “friend” the “police officer”, and you don’t get the least little bit suspicious? I mean, I’m not one to play blame the victim or anything, but seriously, this girl needs to get her danger awareness ramped up. I mean, she just had her traumatic incident a little over two months ago, if that. Shouldn’t she be at least a little paranoid, if for no reason other than just post-traumatic stress? Some people just have no survival instincts nowadays. At least they guy’s been caught and charged though; I’d hate to think such a stupid and perverse plan would be rewarded by him escaping his just desserts.

Man accused of duping rape victim, from the Ann Arbor News, via PervScan (adults only)