I’m just baffled. Part of me wants to know what the hell she’s singing about, part of me thinks it would ruin things. This is amazing though; the CG monsters, the set, the faceless fat dancers, and the creppy-cute lead singer who farts static out of her ass. If I met an alien, and wanted him to understand what Japan was, I’d show him this video.
And then we’d all be boned.
Morning music videos: “Ponponpon” [I ♥ Chaos]
Once upon a time, Orson Welles taped a pilot for a talk show. This show, unfortunately, did not get picked up, but we do have an amazingly creepy little clip from it here, where he waxes all profound on Kermit & Co. while interviewing the late, great Jim Henson, and Frank “Yoda” Oz. One can only imagine how much better reality would be if this had gone through.
Orson Welles Creepily Interviews Jim Henson and Frank Oz [The Stranger]
I don’t know if I’m turned on or creeped out. Both, I think.
Creepy Lip Sync Contestant Totally WTF! (Philippines) [Youtube]
No, seriously, what the hell, Japan?
I never knew this was how sushi was made. Hmm. [I <3 Chaos]
Yub nub, eee chop yub nub
Toe meet toe pee chee keene
G’noop dock fling oh ah
Great. That’s going to be going thorugh my head alllll day. Fucking Ewoks.
Ruining Your Afternoon [The Stranger]
Little know fact: This is one of my favourite songs in the world. Now I will never be able to listen to it without thinking of Miss Piggy gyrating on Rolf’s piano. Fuck.
Man, I know I say it a lot, but I just fucking love the Japanese. Especially back in the day when they didn’t give a flying fuck about American copyright. Ghetto Vader control panel, the bowing before the (interrupted) light saber battle, great jumpin’ wookiees? They’re a special people man. Damn special.
Star Wars + ’70s Japan + Sea Chicken – All Semblance of Sanity = This [Topless Robot via CNNgo]
For Taiwanese audiences through the usage of cheap CGI and copyright-infringing superhero metaphors.
Man, I love reality. I mean, seriously we are like gods. Gods who are easily entertained.
Sometimes in your life, you sit back and look at what you have wrought, and you feel good inside. I can only imagine how fucking awesome the person who made this felt afterwards. So pretty you’d almost want to not eat it.
Almost. I mean, c’mon, it’s bacon.
Holy Grail? You Decide: A Bacon Chalice [Geekologie, via thisisfreakingridiculous]
I want to be this guy when I grow up.
Crazy Bruce of Crazy Bruce’s Liquor perhaps has been hittin’ the hooch [I Heart Chaos, via YBNBY]
Why the hell is this not real? Why does the universe taunt me so?
Bacon Boys: Cutest Picture On The Planet? [Geekologie, via Archie McPhee]
So funny. Doctor Doom does stand-up comedy, ripping on the Fantastic Four. honestly, you should already be watching it.
The Comedy Of Doom [BamKapow, via YouTube]
Here, here is true WTFery as only the intertubes can provide. Zachary Quinto, the fellow who plays everyone newest favourite Vulcan, is walking his dog in the company of a giant piece of meat and a blood soaked butcher.
If you need more description than that to watch this, I really have to question why you’re on the web at all.
There’s Really No Explanation For This [dlisted]
I don’t know if this is the best thing I’ve seen all month, or the absolute worst. In the holiday season fo 1977, Donny & Marie Osborne, the shameless brother and sister act, decided to do a skit where they played Luke and Leia (did they know something we didn’t?) for a musical medly playing off of a then-hit film you may have heard of, Star Wars. so they gathered memebers of the real cast, specifically Anthony Daniels as C3-P0, and Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca, got themselves a remote controlled R2-D2, and proceeded to leave behind a legacy of pain and suffering.
Okay, I may exaggerate slightly, but still, this shit be whack. We’ve got notorious fag icon Paul Lynde playing Moff Tarkin to the upper limits of camp, we have the voice of TONY THE FUCKING TIGER dubbing Darth for us, and we have, and admittedly I love this bit, sexy stormtroopettes. I only use that phrasing because of the high-kicking legs. Yeah.
Oh, did I forget to mention Kris Kristofferson plays Han solo, and Redd Fucking Foxx plays Obi-Wan (while plugging his then-current show)? Oh, fuck yeah. I can’t make this stuff up. They had some goooood drugs back then…
It’s Like Awesome and Awful Had a Baby [Topless Robot, via YouTube]
How on earth this escaped my attention, I will never know, but I’m glad I’ve found it now! Apparently last Hallowe’en, Hustler released a porn spoof of The Munsters, rather plainly titled This Ain’t The Munsters XXX. Notable scenes apparently include Herman and Lily celebrating their wedding anniversary with a cemetery sex session, and Eddie, gets to “howl with pleasure” as he makes it with two girls. As you can see from the embedded trailer, Marilyn and Grandpa are also included, so I can only imagine what they get up to. Mmmm, Marilyn. Now, I just need a copy for the collection. Purely for research purposes, you understand.
This Ain’t The Munsters XXX [Official Site]
Okay, so I’ve seen a lot of weird hand-made fan stuff in my time on this here series of tubes we call the interblag. I’ve also seen a lot of sexy cool stuff too. This, however, this… this shit just creeps me right the fuck out. What kind of batshit crazy mentality do you have to have to make a felt re-creation of Bella’s womb, complete with mutant vampire fetus? Look at that thing! Someone put a lot of time and effort into making it. Look how delicately they’ve formed the creepy little fetus. My gods people. If you could put this kind of drive and industry towards something like, say, curing cancer, we’d all live forever.
Just like your precious little sparkly vampires. Think about that.
You Need Help: Bella’s Womb From Twilight [Geekologie, via Cinematical]
What a lovely mid-week surprise! With much less time between the last two installments, James Gunn has given us another scintillating installment of PG Porn! This time featuring the most lucious Jenna Haze as the porn star du jour, the twist, while not quite as satisfying personally as the punchline of Roadside Ass-sistance, is still fucking hilarity in a four-minute package. Enjoy!
PG Porn: Squeal Happy Whores [Spike]
